Thursday, March 21, 2013

Mother's Day Count-Down to Consciousness

By Gigi de Lugo - Founder of Tropic Heat Studios

May 8th, Mother's Day ~ 1960 ...a few minutes past midnight, Christiansted St Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands. My mom had a near-death birth experience - still, she held out as long as she could, determined to give birth to her 3rd child, on Mother's Day. Delirious from the ordeal, and me half dead not expected to survive - mom demanded "what time is it? is it Sunday? Is it Mother's Day ?!" Yes Maria - you did it. A month later she barged into the hospital and took her daughter (me) home - against doctor's orders, sick and tired of listening to them tell her what was best for her baby - every specialist that could be found brought in to contribute their opinions....I went home, with my 5 foot one half inch tall mom - a giant of a woman, in command of the rest of my life.
That's me, "Angela" at 12 years old, about to be taller than my mom.
If you know my mom, you know her steel will & that she has the ability to shift the stars in the universe to cause time to speed up (or slow down) - if she so declares it. At 5 foot and one half inch (do not forget that half inch) - she has always been a mighty force to be reckoned with. No matter the theme - love, fury, joy, creativity, grace, dignity, spirituality, faith -- she holds to her beliefs with a fierce certainty that all is "right" in her word view - while carrying a mighty sword in those tiny hands. Her shoes are "a perfect size 5" - she knows this because she was a shoe model in New York City. I thank her for my feet - size 8, yes, so not so "perfect"; however, I never knew they were "pretty" until women & men would often stop on the beach and make a fuss about them. ? Who knew? I still don't do pedicures and can barely be bothered to decorate my toe nails with nail polish (yes, my female friends find this horrific!). I'm still a tomboy - with a lousy collection of shoes because all I want to wear are "Jesus sandals". I own a shameless assortment of miss-matched thrift shop purses, my toe nails have chipped nail polish ignored for months (because yes Nashville, I have sometimes conformed), and my long, thick Spanish hair is pulled into a ponytail 90% of the time.  These are the things that define my "look", "style"..or lack thereof.  Mom wanted  Princesses and taught my sister & I  to be well mannered, gracious, groomed, pressed (even our jeans were ironed), polite, and to keep our private lives private -- "period".  I broke that mold - immediately. If you have ever listened to the old Bill Cosby comedy albums (and I mean on vinyl records) you will recall the story he tells of his second child...revisit that one, it literally describes my sister and I - she was the quiet baby  mom would constantly check to see if she was breathing...14 months later, enter "Gigi".....& "Hello World ~ can ya hear me now?!"

My sons - 1991 St John USVI
In about 6 weeks - and not on Mother's Day this year, is my birthday, May 8th -  as usual I expect my three sons to barely acknowledge both, we're good with that. I'll get a text - "Happy birthday mom! I love you". (because we are grateful to be alive - no gifts necessary) Today however,  I chose what it is I choose for this birthday  - much in the same theme of how I entered this world, ....this year - I choose the life I have always known I was here to live, not the one attempting to fulfill (or defy?) expectations, -- of my own or anyone else. I did the math yesterday, and I've got a solid, healthy minimum of 30 or  more years (if my parents are any evidence) that genetically I am  hitting the stride of my life, achieving greatness, leaving my eternal mark on this world happens NOW -- and it wont be a design by chance, it will be by Choice. ~~ what if I chose my mom? What IF she was chosen because she carried her own sword of purpose and refused to fail ? What if all the times we fought, she was teaching me how to stand up to anyone (including all 5 foot one-half-inch of her) who attempts to tell me who I am, what to be, how to be, what to know as my own truth? What IF....she was the reason my unicorn learned to fly ? What if she "once knew the magic" (quote from the CrindelStar story - hear it online )) ,......but forgot and got lost? Would I leave her behind? Hell no!

I choose a winged unicorn, I choose magic, music, movies, dance - joy & costumes !  I choose the children of today, tomorrow, and yesterday -- I choose my mission on planet earth that I was born fully conscious of , and I choose to quit pretending I'm here for any other purpose, debt, karma, chaos, or crap --- I'm here to believe in the glory of the greatness humanity has the ability to BE - not the hell. And yes world, I still LOVE to belly laugh. loud - no amount of your hell and nightmares has taken that away - why? . I'm here for God, yes the BIG G .. always have been - who can tell me I'm not? "Interesting point of view your point of view" (say that 10 times fast)........any way......this all began...
St Croix, USVI 1967

When I was in "pre-kindergarten" (the image to the left is from 1st grade) -- I guess that means I was about 5 years old. Our school was in downtown Christiansted - the harbor town on St Croix , made up of ancient Danish buildings dating back to the prior owners of our island ...across the street was the Church, and at least once a week we went there for "religion", during school. -- What a concept.~~~ In that church, as a 5 year old child among my many five year old island kid friends, I sang one song with all the conviction of the most devout you'd ever meet- practically marching out the door & signing up for action.  We sang a song that was to become my life's inner anthem, played in my head regularly and on occasion sung out loud when alone or afraid, or walking two miles in the dark & freezing rain, down a Tennessee country road after my car broke down-- it wasn't a "religion", it was an empowering *song of determination, a song that kept me Knowing, my course and path and purpose - a purpose to serve, to lead, and to change the world with God (not "religion") .........and that purpose has never changed. Ask me what God IS ...and I will tell you ~~ LOVE, period. OK, & Joy, add the joy. Happy happy joy joy....why not?  Now tell me,,....what is love? That's a tougher question - and maybe the answer is what the world is trying so hard to figure out - and trying to believe in, often judging it. I don't know, and honestly, I don't care any more - I'm tired of attempting to walk a world's view of my life & purpose - all the while wondering if I'm still being true to myself, still on course with the me that I truly be. (here's a hint, if you have to probably are not on course)  For my birthday, turning this life 180 degrees, calling all my unicorn-loving-friends-- can you hear me now? you will :-) from an island in the Caribbean Sea...loud and crystal clear. ~~ Gigi 2 point OH - "it's a girl" , Happy Mother's Day.

*Onward Christian Soldiers.......... saddle-up your unicorns, let's go  !

This post is dedicated to my late brother, Jay de Lugo, Mom's # 1 son - poet, artist, renegade, and flower-child-teenager of the 60's.  I cut & paste these two pictures, because Jay left this world at 21 years old, when I was a kid in 5th grade - and has been my guardian angel ever since. I wanted a picture of us side-by-side with the adult me version........our birthdays were 9 days (& 9 years) apart ~ April 29th, (Jay), and May 8th (me) -- Happy Birthday Jay ! I got you a Unicorn ! (thanks for the wings! )
And that, kids, is a vinyl record on a record player in Jay's hands


Unknown said...

Happy early Birthday to both you and your brother your...Guardian Angel, Jay.

Fan R. said...

What a story, Mom's love creates miracle and magic. Happy early Birthday to you and your Brother!

Your photos amazing!

Liz Mays said...

I love your perspective and this just makes want to stand up and cheer! Happy Birthday a tad early!

Unknown said...

Happy Birthday just a wee bit early.

Dee from MadameDeals said...

I love your post and advance happy birthday to you :)

Norm Olley said...

I just want to reach out and let you know that Jay was one of my best friends in high school. We wrestled and hung out alot. He has always been in my heart.